what. the. fuck.


she just called me. at twelve fortyfive. while i am not asleep, i very easily could be.
not the point.
she called to tell me that this boy she’s been thinking about liking kissed her.
why, why does she think i want to know this. when i four days ago professed my undying love. but this is her way of pretending that it never happened, that everything is the same.
same reason she emailed me monday to whine about not feeling loved and no one finding her attractive. i think that one hurt more. what exactly does the “no one” in no one finding her attractive mean. am i now a non-person? no one besides me finds her attractive? no one who counts finds her attractive?
there’s not much like discovering how much you don’t matter.

i am terrified of all things
frightened of the dark, i am
you are taller than a mountain
deeper than the sea, you are
hold me
hold me
take me with you cause i’m lonely
i was closer to you back then
i was happier, i was
you are fading further from me
why don’t you come home to me?
hold me
hold me
take me with you cause i’m lonely


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